It's Okay To Be Gay Part 3 - Stereotypically Gay

Greetings readers. Thanks for joining me for another edition of It’s Okay to be Gay. Today we’re going to visit the topic of stereotypes and how they can be quite misleading. First off, what is a stereotype? In the Merriam Webster dictionary, this is what it came up with: A standardized mental picture that is held in common by members of a group and that represents an oversimplified opinion, prejudiced attitude, or uncritical judgment

In other words, the way you perceive or assume people to be. Now, define the word gay: A homosexual. Let me also mention the way people used gay before they started judging homosexuals. Keenly alive and exuberant.

So why did I want to look up the definitions? To make sure everyone understood what a stereotype is. Let’s look at some very popular stereotypes. Women are overly emotional, men are tough and aren’t emotional, black people have tempers, overly judgmental, eat certain foods. Hispanics live in small houses, usually overcrowded.

Those are just a few and undoubtedly you’ve heard them in your own circles even if you haven’t used them yourself. How about gay stereotypes? You’ve seen them in movies, TV, and even in books before people started becoming more politically correct. Walks with a switch of the hips, talks in high pitch, are exceptionally neat, act like a female. I’m sure people have seen these and automatically brought up the gay stereotype. The last one especially, people assume someone that might seem overly femme has to be gay. Overly femme? Dresses nice, takes a lot of time with appearance? Then most assume you as a man are gay but the problem with this is, it’s an assumption. Just because you’ve heard the stereotypes, you think he’s gay.

Over the years, the media has had a lot to do with stereotypes. On television, gays were pictured as oversexed, femme, with high pitched voices. Now, I'm definitely not saying that some gay men aren’t like this but stereotypes are a negative way of looking at certain people. Your making the assumption without the facts; the definition says prejudiced attitude. Your attitude about gay men and women causes you to form an opinion and most of the time it’s wrong.

But Sharita, you did just say some gay men do have those traits! Yeah they do but there’s also plenty of gay men who don’t have them. Once again, the problem isn’t the traits itself, it’s how people perceive gay men and women.

Let me give you an example. Over the past few weeks since I’ve been doing this series, Jason Collins and other athletes have made news by coming out. Because I’m a sports fan, I pay attention to a lot of the tv and radio shows. When I heard people’s reactions, meaning male fans and or others who called themselves fellow players, I heard something like this: “Having gay men in the locker room would make things very uncomfortable.”

I have to ask. why do people feel it would be an uncomfortable situation? I’d bet many of these players or fans thought about the gay player would try coming on to them in some form or fashion: the oversexed stereotype. Why would you automatically assume that the gay player would try doing that or they’d look some more when in they’re in the shower together? Again, it’s an assumption. You think just because a player is gay, he can’t possibly just be there to play the game like you are. He’s going to try hooking up with you. Bullshit, so much BS but what I can say. That’s exactly what stereotyping is.

I believe it’s time for people to start accepting people for who they are regardless of their race, nationality, or sexual orientation. Don’t make the assumptions and form your own opinion by what you see. Over the years the media has made great strides in painting gay men and women in a more positive light but like society, they have further to go. Time for more tolerance, understanding, and education. That’s what’s needed. 

Next week, I’ll tackle the religious outrage over being gay without getting preachy. 

Thanks for listening. 

Build-an-Alien 101

There comes a time when a writer sets a fresh piece of paper in the typewriter and is faced with the age-old

question – what shall I write? All right, maybe I’m dating myself a bit here, and no, I haven’t used an actual typewriter in many years. Nor would I want to. My fingers are spoiled by the light touch of the keyboard, and I never wish to go back again. 

But I digress.

First question is often what genre do I wish to dabble in today? I admit that science fiction has not been my first choice when deciding which genre to write in. Granted, I do enjoy science fiction and, at one time, read a lot of it. But it was a different field back then, with writers like Asimov, Clarke, Henlein, Bradbury... I knew I didn’t have the science background to even begin to attempt the things they did. Science fiction today is just not the

same as it was then. In fact, I didn’t read it for a long time.

A long time ago, I did begin a sci fi story, which is now long lost in my notes somewhere. It had to do with a time when people entertained themselves by plugging into their TV’s, attaching themselves through electronics in such a way that they could participate in the story. HOPAVI, I called it, short for home participation video. Guess it wasn’t that story’s time.

I began writing a sci fi story with my friend, author Sui Lynn, and we’ve posted snippets of it on our blogs, and we really love it, but real life has derailed that story, at least for now.

In the meantime, my friend and author, M.A. Church and I decided to write something together. What do

you want to write, she asked. As it so happened, I had the privilege of editing two of her novels, Nighttime Wishes and Nighttime Dreams, and also The Harvest, which she has subbed and is waiting to hear about. All three novels deal with the romance between an alien and a human, and I am here to tell you these stories are hot, hot, hot! So much so that when she said what do you want to write, I knew the answer. I wanted to write about an alien too. An alien/human romance of our own.

As is usual in collaborations, each author creates a main character, although both should be capable of writing for each of them. Thus Michelle created Reed Hatcher, and I got to make up the alien, whose name is Taz. The result of this first collaboration is Be My Alien, which we subbed to Dreamspinner and which they accepted, and which published May 8^th.

Taz is from the planet of Trygos, from somewhere far far away. He comes to Earth on a date with another alien, Vorlod, and is excited about it. It seems that to the other inhabitants of the universe, Earth is not much of a destination, so it’s like going on a cheap date. But Taz is happy, and they’re up in the Empire State Building together when Taz figures out Vorlod’s real reason for being there... when Vorlod dumps him for another alien.

Reed Hatcher is a successful businessman without a love life. He expends all his energies into his shop, A Touch of Class, which specializes in upscale men’s clothing, as well as what is in the naughty backroom. It’s two days until Valentine’s Day, and Reed is about to close up shop and go home to his lonely apartment when a late night call from a good client changes everything, and he agrees to make a last minute delivery to the Empire State Building.

There, Taz falls into Reed’s arms—literally. What happens?  ‘Fraid you’ll have to read the book to find out!

Michelle and I are hard at work on book two of what will probably be a three book series. I have to tell you, it’s been great fun writing with her, and I fully intend to inveigle her into more books after these. With or without aliens? Who knows! Whatever they will be, they will be fun.

What does it take to write about aliens? You are only limited by your imagination. I got to create our alien, since Michelle had two other series and I never did, so I came up with Taz, who has some distinctively feline features. I know, big shock, right?

But more than just what he looks like, I needed a background, and knowledge of his home world, so that means worldbuilding, which I happen to enjoy. And even if all of the details are not revealed in the books, at least they are there to draw on, a firm foundation for making him believable.

If you want to create an alien of our own, let’s assume for the sake of argument, that he is some sort of humanoid. This makes it easier for the audience to see and relate to him. If there are differences, such as the “dreadlocks/tentacles”  of Michelle’s alien in the Nighttime series, then let us see them, and tell us what sets them apart. Or, in Taz’s case, it’s his stripes... and his tail.

Like any other character, your alien needs a background, family, friends, etc. A job or something he does to spend his time while waiting for his human/true love to appear.

See? Basically, underneath the differences are the similarities. The alien is still a man, and he still has dreams, wishes, desires and hopes, among them to love and be loved.

The rest is window dressing and a lot of fun.

So go on, build yourself an alien of your own, and see what I mean!

* * * *

And now, a little information on the authors of Be My Alien.

Author bio:

M.A. Church lives in the southern United States and spent many years in the elementary education sector. She is married to her high school sweetheart and they have two children. Her hobbies are gardening, walking, attending flea markets, watching professional football, racing, and spending time with her family on the lake.

But her most beloved hobby is reading. From an early age, she can remember hunting for books at the library. Later nonhuman and science fiction genres captured her attention and drew her into the worlds the authors had created. But always at the back of her mind was the thought that one day, when the kids were older and she had more time, she would write a book.

By sheer chance she stumbled across a gay male romance story on the web and was hooked. A new world opened up and she fell in love. Thus the journey started. When not writing or researching, she enjoys reading the latest erotic and mainstream romance novels.

My links:

Blog http://machurch00.blogspot.com

Twitter @nomoretears00

Facebook: M.A. Church http://www.facebook.com/pages/MA-Chur...

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5141393.M_A_Church

Publishers:

Dreamspinner: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/index.php?cPath=55_650

Romance First Publishing: www.rfppublishing.com

Changeling Press: http://www.changelingpress.com/author.php?uid=177

Storm Moon: http://www.stormmoonpress.com/authors/MA-Church.aspx

Author Bio:

Julie Lynn Hayes was reading at the age of two and writing by the age of nine and always wanted to be a writer when she grew up. Two marriages, five children, and more than forty years later, that is still her dream. She blames her younger daughters for introducing her to yaoi and the world of M/M love, a world which has captured her imagination and her heart and fueled her writing in ways she'd never dreamed of before. She especially loves stories of two men finding true love and happiness in one another's arms and is a great believer in the happily ever after. She lives in St. Louis with her daughter Sarah and two cats, loves books and movies, and hopes to be a world traveler some day. She enjoys crafts, such as crocheting and cross stitch, knitting and needlepoint and loves to cook. While working a temporary day job, she continues to write her books and stories and reviews, which she posts in various places on the internet. Her family thinks she is a bit off, but she doesn't mind. Marching to the beat of one's own drummer is a good thing, after all.  Her other published works can be found at Dreamspinner Press, MuseitUp Publishing and No Boundaries Press, and coming soon with both Extasy Books and Torquere Press. She has also begun to self-publish and is an editor at MuseitUp.  

My links:

Blog  http://julielynnhayes.blogspot.com

Twitter @Shelley_runyon

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/julie.l.hayes.7?ref=tn_tnmn

My Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/3442231.Julie_Lynn_Hayes

Publishers:

Museit Up Publishing:  http://museituppublishing.com/bookstore2/index.php

Dreamspinner Press: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/index.php?cPath=55_222

eXtasy Books:  http://www.extasybooks.com/index.php?route=product/author&author_id=979

Torquere Press http://torquerepress.com/  (coming soon)

An illusion, a shadow, a story (21)

November passed quickly. Dustin showed up as he had promised to help with costume returns and then vanished from the brothers' lives. May managed two dates with the 'Cavalier', whose name turned out to be Chuck, before deciding he only had one thing in mind and she wasn't about to take that lying down, literally.

Ellery's show opened just before Thanksgiving to, if not rave reviews, at least a good one for his performance. That left him feeling hopeful that he would land more decent roles in the future. 

Fletcher buried himself in his work, rarely coming out of his workroom except to help with the shop, eat and sleep. As always Winston was the mainstay of the business, making certain everything ran well and that the customers were happy.

So far they'd heard nothing more from Malburn or his people. Despite Winston's best efforts, using every resource available to him, he'd been unable to find out where Malburn had gone to ground, a fact that bothered him enough he almost considered having William intercede on his behalf with their mother. There were things she could do that he couldn't and he knew it. And he knew that she cared about them enough to try. Or more to the point she didn't want any of them destroyed as it would upset the balance. Death could be handled, William was proof of that, but not destruction.

The problem was he that he wasn't willing to give up and admit that he'd failed. Unlike his brothers, who she adored, she had always considered him to be a thorn in her side, the one son she could never control no matter how hard she tried. To tell her now that he needed her help—well it wasn't something he was willing to do yet. There was one more resource available to him; he just had to find him. And that wouldn't happen until after the New Year, if then.

And so the brothers threw themselves into the holiday season with all the enthusiasm they could manage while still staying aware of the fact that at any time Malburn, or someone else working for their unknown adversary, could appear to wreck havoc in their lives.